Asteya and my own space

In this blog, Chaja explains how she goes beyond the initial meaning of Asteya, non-stealing, through parenting her two boys.

When my baby boys were born, I was so full of a very natural and pure love for them. It was as if my ego knew what its role was and something very instinctive and powerful emerged to protect my beautiful offspring. All my energy and attention were naturally tuned towards them, regardless of me being tired, not having showered yet at 10am and the stains of breast milk on my pyjamas.

I was somehow aware of the influence of my hormones and the connection with my boys. I unconsciously knew that my hormones stimulated the whole process of me being there for these two new creatures to nourish and protect them. The rest of the world didn’t seem to exist.

With my youngest boy, this connection was so strong that when he got a bit older, he’d wake as soon as I awoke for my early morning yoga practice. One of my thoughts would go to him and he would be awake, regardless of the time! To test my theory, I set my alarm 20 minutes earlier, setting it at 5:15am. But, of course, he woke up at that time too! This continued until he was five.

The irony of it all was, on the rare occasions I was away for the night and his big sister would put him to bed, he’d sleep through until 8 or 9am!

The importance of our natural connection

It seemed though as if this connection had become less strong, but in fact it has changed.

Sometimes I get a particular feeling or signal if something is wrong with my boys while they aren’t with me. For example, when their school calls me, I can recall a particular sensation in those previous hours that has very often even coincided with the actual time of their incident.

I’ve also recently experienced a stimulating energy – almost like a flash of lightning – low in my belly when they’re doing something dangerous or are crying because of pain or anxiety. In fact, a very natural instinct and calm presence take over when they are experiencing strong physical or emotional pain.

So, even though they’re no longer babies and the explosion of hormones in me has subsided, we still have a natural connection.

Creating own space

While this has been fascinating, it’s also been a challenging and, at times, difficult path. By now, I thought I would have some more time for myself. My youngest one would like my attention all the time if he had the chance!

It teaches me a lot in connection to my yoga teachings and understandings. It's so important to stay connected inwards and to not let emotions get stuck. It’s very challenging to go through particular periods with your kids and to be aware of how it has actually affected you afterwards.

Both my boys and I have to explore over and over again and learn what our own space means in daily life and in every kind of challenging situation. And they have started to appreciate for sure their own space; they just have to invest a little bit more in understanding into what my space means!

So, I guess that deeply rooted connection with them will always remain and actually, it is part of motherhood.


About Chaja van Boesschoten

Chaja is a Hatha yoga teacher, international project manager and digital writer. She has become so captivated by the knowledge of yoga science and the immense possibilities of the breath, that her life has become devoted to yoga.

Chaja was born in The Netherlands, she is married to a Scottish man and has two sons who were born in two different countries. She now lives in Italy and finds it beautiful to use the knowledge of different languages and experiences to transmit yoga. Yoga is available to everyone, but she sees the importance to bring it to people who are possibly unaware of it, to people who live in socially vulnerable situations, to people suffering mentally (as a consequence of the pandemic e.g.) and to influencers.

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