Having a partner and creating a strong, healthy relationship isn’t always an easy thing to accomplish. Being connected through a spiritual practice can help a relationship to feel more fulfilling.
When a couple is united through spiritual practice, they can increase intimacy and connection because there's a mutual focus on supporting one another on their path. It’s about being true to who you are and coming together with your partner to deepen your emotional bond.
This requires being open-minded, honest and vulnerable with yourself, and your partner. By creating a spiritual practice, you can help to build and strengthen your connection. Here are a few ideas to help you get started.
What is a spiritual connection?
A problem in our current society is that we tend to base our worth, happiness and measure of success on what other people think and external, material belongings.
Our sense of identity becomes overshadowed by our external experience. According to Deepak Chopra, this is object referral instead of self-referral. As Deepak writes on his website:
“Our sense of “I” is then defined by our body, our relationships, our possessions, our fears and desires. This unawakened version of the ego does generate distractions and obstacles to spiritual growth just by virtue of this self-perpetuating object referral pattern. The ego in itself is not the villain. Once self-realisation occurs, the ego’s misappropriation of identity dissolves and its simple function of providing individuality to experience will remain even after enlightenment.”
Having the mindset of object referral draws your attention away from having a fulfilling relationship. It's often the precursor for getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons or forgetting how to nurture you and your partner's connection. Ultimately, this leads to you feeling disconnected and out of harmony.
Having a spiritual connection with a partner means you're allies in personal growth. You commit to working together to become your best selves.
Spiritually connected partners are encouraging and help each other move towards their life purpose. You align on issues that define who you are and the future you want to have. A spiritual connection is based on honesty and integrity. You, and your partner are fully genuine. When you are spiritually connected, your partner helps you express yourself while giving you a sense of stability in your life.
How to build a spiritual connection
When there is a strong spiritual foundation between you and your partner, you can weather any storm that comes your way. Here are a few ways to help you get started.
What is your dream relationship? What do you really want in a partner? Sit down and journal a list of the qualities you most desire in a partner. Once you have your list, take a moment to see if you embody the qualities and desires you wrote down.
Often, we seek people to fill a void that's missing in ourselves. This doesn't create a strong, stable foundation.
Relationships are always a great example of the beauty of perception. You will see all your own qualities, both good and bad, reflected back to you in your partner. Before entering a spiritual relationship, work on being complete in yourself.
We all have baggage and shadows that we don’t want to see. Having a spiritual connection with your partner requires that you grow into the person you were meant to be.
You must know your beliefs, intentions, and desires. Make a list of values that are important to you and the practices that keep you connected.
A practice that can help with building relationships is to take a moment of reflection.
Consider your past relationships. What comes to mind? The feelings and events that come up influence how you experience your current relationships. Learn to forgive. Part of healing past relationships is embracing change.
Your relationship will transform as you each evolve. Use this change for growth and an opportunity to support and love each other through this process.
Quality time is one of the five love languages created by Gary Chapman, Ph.D. This is time you dedicate together as a couple to show love and affection.
It’s choosing to prioritise intentional, meaningful time together so that you can connect deeper on an emotional level.
Use this time to share your views and find out where you each stand in your beliefs and spiritual practice. It's a great way to find out if you're on the same path - or willing to work towards it - together.
Find out what is important to your partner and understand why. You don’t have to be the same in your thoughts, beliefs, and practices. There will always be differences, but sharing values is important.
Set the intention of the relationship
Try to see your relationship not as two individuals, but as a third entity.
So often, we focus on the other person and what they need to do for the relationship. By viewing your relationship as a third entity, it becomes a vessel of creation.
Declaring a primary intention for your relationship will help to keep you checked into your purpose and values for being together.
Your intention might be to truly understand each other so you can evolve and grow together. Alternatively, it might be for your relationship to bring more happiness, joy, and connection in your life.
Create a daily spiritual practice
Once you've established you’re on the same page as your partner, you can begin to create a daily spiritual practice.
These are things that will deepen
your spiritual connection. Meditation can be a great practice to do together.
By learning to get still and present, you're declaring to yourself and each other that this is an important aspect of your relationship. You're entering into a different state of consciousness together. This can feel very sacred and special.
Prioritise time for regular intimacy
In a spiritual partnership, touch and intimacy are essential ingredients.
A great example of this is having a daily 'six-second kiss' with your partner. It was created by Dr. Gottman, a leading relationship researcher and the author of What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal.
As he explains, a six-second kiss is “long enough to feel romantic.”
Dr. Gottman writes: “ It serves as a temporary oasis within a busy day and creates a deliberate break between the on-the-job mentality (i.e. going to or from work) and a couple’s one-on-one time together.”
The act of being physically intimate heightens your awareness and intention and has the power to lead to spiritual experiences and awakenings. When you feel good in your physical body, you'll be able to emotionally connect on a deeper level in your intimate partnership.
About Erica Breen
Erica is a life-long mover and forever student. Trained in Pilates, Yoga and Ayurveda, Erica has a breadth of knowledge when it comes to the human body and its inner workings. Leading a nomadic lifestyle, you'll find Erica sharing her work online from all over the world! Find out more at ericabreenpilates.com.
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